T A E N Y H S L C M I N E E O S O V A R H R A N E
Hmm.....where do I begin?? This might take awhile. How life plays with you sometimes. Whoever said 'What goes around, comes around', sure wasnt kidding. It was me as me then, it as it. Now its you as me, and me as it. And I hate being it. I don't even know why I did, what I did. I don't know if its right or wrong. But if these are the consequences, I rather not have done it.
What I felt, and what you did, were not very far apart. Every ingrediant was present, except that one thing that'd give it a whole new meaning. Don't get me wrong, this not near as sleazy as it sounds. And so I kept hoping, that that too shall show up, but it never did, and honestly, I began to doubt if it ever would. And then I began to question my loyalty. If there was ever to be a situation where my loyalty deterred, even if you could, I wouldnt be able to forgive myself. This I didnt want happening. Call it fear, call it stupidity, or call it confusion, I saw no other option.
I know this isnt right for you, but for me, atleast initially, it was. 'Cause in my mind, nothing had changed. It was still the same weather, the same disposition. But now, when I see it all change, I don't feel the same. Maybe the right mind was what was. What is now, is twisted, in its own fear of loss. And nothing I say to it will help. And everything you don't say doesnt either. If there was a way for me to make it all clearer, I'd try. As it is, I should probably give it a shot.
(People who realise this is not addressed to you, don't read)
There is a chance that you might actually read this. I think its imporant you do. But I can't ask you to do it. Anyway....
There is no way I can seperate myself from something thats become so much a part of me. I'm afraid I can't do justice to what it wants from me. I can't lie about it either. If you'd prefer I did, I will. But there is no way I'm giving it up. I promise I'm not trying to make your life any harder, but I've gotta do what I've gotta do. Don't think for a second that all that there was, came only from one end, 'cause thats not true. I'm not saying this to pacify myself, I'm way past that, but you need to know that NOTHING was a lie. Every little thing that was said, every little thing that was felt, was true. Its the same thing we want, in a way, but what we choose to call it, is what makes all the difference. I can't say this any better, I'm not too good with words, but I hope, you know now, things for what they are.
(People who realised, but continued reading anyway, dont try to make sense of it)
I don't want everything to go in vain, hopefully there'll still be a day for you and I.
What I felt, and what you did, were not very far apart. Every ingrediant was present, except that one thing that'd give it a whole new meaning. Don't get me wrong, this not near as sleazy as it sounds. And so I kept hoping, that that too shall show up, but it never did, and honestly, I began to doubt if it ever would. And then I began to question my loyalty. If there was ever to be a situation where my loyalty deterred, even if you could, I wouldnt be able to forgive myself. This I didnt want happening. Call it fear, call it stupidity, or call it confusion, I saw no other option.
I know this isnt right for you, but for me, atleast initially, it was. 'Cause in my mind, nothing had changed. It was still the same weather, the same disposition. But now, when I see it all change, I don't feel the same. Maybe the right mind was what was. What is now, is twisted, in its own fear of loss. And nothing I say to it will help. And everything you don't say doesnt either. If there was a way for me to make it all clearer, I'd try. As it is, I should probably give it a shot.
(People who realise this is not addressed to you, don't read)
There is a chance that you might actually read this. I think its imporant you do. But I can't ask you to do it. Anyway....
There is no way I can seperate myself from something thats become so much a part of me. I'm afraid I can't do justice to what it wants from me. I can't lie about it either. If you'd prefer I did, I will. But there is no way I'm giving it up. I promise I'm not trying to make your life any harder, but I've gotta do what I've gotta do. Don't think for a second that all that there was, came only from one end, 'cause thats not true. I'm not saying this to pacify myself, I'm way past that, but you need to know that NOTHING was a lie. Every little thing that was said, every little thing that was felt, was true. Its the same thing we want, in a way, but what we choose to call it, is what makes all the difference. I can't say this any better, I'm not too good with words, but I hope, you know now, things for what they are.
(People who realised, but continued reading anyway, dont try to make sense of it)
I don't want everything to go in vain, hopefully there'll still be a day for you and I.
posted by Tejas at 7:13 AM
5 Comments:
dear thats powereful and defo a random trail of thoughts....u were so upset and u took so long to get msg me :(
but glad stuff is ok now :)
Yeah, kinda thought it'd be a disturbance. Sorry. Thanks though, that helped :)
Ok!
Meet me on 26th at PVRs.Thats the day for you and me.
On a saner thought, I am amazed. It made sense. I dont wanna make a random guess about who "you" is. I am bad at guesses and you made me realise that. But I really hope the "you" reads it, to make life easier for you and self.
And emmmm... I can't make much outta the previous comments. If I am supposed to derive sense, pliss to help me.
^^Hehe, no. There is nothing to be derived from the previous comments, I assure you. Thanks for reading!
Am glad u did wht u did...guess in a way made things easier for both of us..n dont worry...m not going to ask u for anythin..n wouldnt want you to lie to make me happy either...so guess things should be jus left just the way they are...n btw...read d blog...an hour after you had written...but didnt knw what to say...was jus too soon...
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